Hi, my name is Kevin Bulmer. I’m a mindset & marketing consultant and speaker and certified life and executive coach.
You know what I hear about from people almost every day?
They tell me they're frustrated that they don't feel they really know "who they really are" or what they really want.
People constantly tell me they have a sort of nagging feeling, like there should be something "more" (or just something else) for them, but they're frustrated by a lack of clarity on what that might be, let alone how to go and get it.
On top of that, they often say they feel completely overwhelmed, not just by the ongoing rush of daily responsibilities, but by the steady parade of “experts” offering answers, systems and solutions.
It’s almost as if acknowledging the possibility that there could be more to life just invites in a new rush of noise, motivational quotes and an endless playlist of “how-to” books and videos that ends up leaving us feeling more flawed than when we started.
And of course, it doesn’t help that it seems like nearly everyone else - family members, friends, co-workers - don’t seem to share the same view, or thought of what might be possible. Happy to go along with the crowd, they may love us, but not necessarily understand us. At least, not about this. Not yet.
Trying to grow. Wanting to grow, and to know: to be more in touch with our true selves, our values, our passions and unique creative purpose, but unable to cut through the noise enough to slow it all down to where we can see it and feel it clearly.
It often feels as if it’s just a big hamster wheel of motivational quotes and commands, but that nobody’s listening and really hearing you, let alone helping you to hear yourself.
And yet, you can see that there are other people who are doing something they love and making a nice living at it.
You can see other people living in healthy bodies, enjoying great relationships and cheerful experiences.
You can see it. It’s “real.”
But this isn’t about comparing ourselves with others. Not at all. Rather, it’s about acknowledging that it’s possible: that if any one person can enjoy living and working with health, wealth, freedom, passion and purpose, then anyone can.
That’s the trick. It’s what eventually snagged me: believing I could be one of the ones to live that kind of life, but then immediately realizing that I was looking at things differently from just about everyone else around me. I began believing in things I couldn’t yet see.
My closest friends started looking at me funny. I began to feel different. It was somewhat uncomfortable. And I suppose it’s easy - and maybe even natural - to get to a stage like that and then question yourself.
So what do we do about it?
The Coffee Shop Talk.
Here’s another way to look at it. It’s an absolutely true story.
So, I have this really great friend. I'll call him "Derek," because that's his name.
We've had a lot of "coffee shop talks" over the years. And every single one of them has been helpful to me.
See if you can relate ...
I adore and appreciate Derek on so many levels. One of his greatest gifts is that he's a kind, patient and thoughtful listener.
In addition to that, Derek has the ability to help me see what, deep down, I'm pretty sure I already know. But my view of myself is cluttered with all the other things I'm constantly thinking about, wondering about, assuming and projecting.
Derek sees right through all that. He doesn't have to grapple with all the "made up stories" that I've created in my own head. His is a different perspective, so it's easier for him to identify the threads of what's really important and then show them back to me.
The elegance of it is that it's all pretty fundamentally simple.
Derek helps me to trust myself. He doesn't tell me what to do or how to live my life. He simply listens, asks questions about what matters most to me, and then helps me to see it more clearly. It's validating and empowering.
Of course, like most good things, I didn't fully realize what was happening or why it was helping until many years later. It wasn't until I explored and completed a "Life and Executive Coaching" certification that the light went on about how familiar the process felt.
At the same time, I began to hear many of my podcast guests (whom I would interview and listen to) say things afterward like, "Gee, I've never thought of it like that before, but you're right," or, "I felt so comfortable talking to you that I shared things I've never talked about before."
Of course, I thought I was just doing a "bang-up job" as an interviewer. And maybe I was. But do you know what I now believe has really been going on?
I've learned to be like Derek.
I will listen. I will question. And then I'll show people what, deep down, I think they already know.
That's the power of a good "coffee shop talk," a good listener, a positive support system.
And if you take it just a little bit further, and work together to put some very simple steps in place to move you forward on whatever it was you were talking about, and then follow it up, well ... magical things begin to happen.
I think we tend to forget:
a) We know more about ourselves than we think we do and ...
b) How incredibly refreshing and empowering it feels just to be heard.
Sometimes, we just need a safe space and a supportive pace to be listened to, encouraged and supported.
I know a place
Imagine ... a safe, comfortable place, where like-minded friends gather to encourage each other, from their own space, at their own pace.
You can drop in and out as you please.
To be heard.
To support, and to share.
Or, just to watch and keep to yourself, if that’s what works best for you.
It's open 24/7 ... 365.